Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
