Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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