Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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