I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
