I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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