Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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