She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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