left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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