i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
