Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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