If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
