I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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