so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
