he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
