he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
