There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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