Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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