Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
