3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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