You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
