can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
