exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
