Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
