im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I want a musical about memes.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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