As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
