She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
This house was built for laser tag.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
