You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
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there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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