I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Pants are for mortals
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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