You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
