please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
