The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
