The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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