I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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