I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
