she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize