Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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