It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
