we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
