omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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