drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
