I think scott just propositioned me for sex
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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