i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
