Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My liver just had a heart attack.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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