He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
