So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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