Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I touched a dick in church today
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
