Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
