so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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