she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
