I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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