what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
