honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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