If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
