Christians are straight up FREAKS
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize