i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
